Hells Bells 

Here I am again.         

                                                                          This is probably why the stories,                                              The warnings                                                  Are so great in number.

It was surreal to begin with,                         
and I can’t decide if now its More Surreal.    
Or incredibly hyper REAL.

All I know is that I feel lost,            
Scrambling to wrap my head around any possible misstep,                                  
Even though as I retrace my steps,
              I see nothing but dance.

Suddenly I am that being,                                 In that one George Bernard Shaw play, Realizing the Real within the surreal,
Resisting succumbing to the inevitable pull of time and gravity,                                        
All the while longing for the Peace that only acceptance of What Is can manifest. 

The leaking                                                      The memories                                                Real or imagined                                            Toy with my weaknesses.                          
And confuse me to the point of absurdity
The pounding rabbit heartbeat of not knowing 

It’s not you…
It’s the bells in my head that are bad. 

But you rang them, and right now sound is Deafening 



Just like those two covers of that one song I was obsessed with a few years back,
You became an earworm….
Or, rather, a Heartworm……

I found myself in a place of relishing the very thought of you.
Each thought was like a hit of a drug that went to all the right places.
And with every hit, you wormed just a little bit deeper into my heart

So, these meetings I have with myself, in the middle of the night, the ones that find me wide-eyed and aching, the ones that I can’t seem to close my mind to – they serve a purpose;

The neural pathways I’ve been changing are the ones that lead to you.

The person I’ve removed from my heart is you.

The “Ectomy”

The Killer

He was a killer. 
And it had been awhile.
The itch in his brain had reached mosquito bite peak and needed to be scratched.
He walked out the front door like he was headed for smokes.

She was ready,
And lay naked in bed, and waited.
She had left the door unlocked, ajar even. 
There would be no obstacles tonight.

He walked the dark, his urge to scratch building. 
His pulse would tell him who.
His pulse would tell him where.
He spied a crack of light and it began to race.

She couldn’t sleep.
This longing had built for so long, 
This aching for him, the promise of satisfaction
She knew it would be tonight.

Up to the crack of light he crept, like a cautious moth
One hand fingered the knife in his pocket, the other his erection.
It was time to go in.
He could hear nothing but his heartbeat.

She heard him enter 
And walk slowly to where she lay
She knew he would think she was asleep 
And delighted in surprising him.

His shoes were off and pants dropped to the floor 
In one fluid movement
He gently placed the knife beneath a pillow,
Moved the cover aside and slid into bed behind her.

She backed into him 
With an involuntary thrust
And a gentle moan of 
“You’re here”.

He slid his hands over her breasts 
Her nipples puckered like raisins
A fuck before a kill 
Was never a bad thing.

She couldn’t believe it was finally happening 
All that waiting
All that planning
She was dripping wet.

“I’m so happy” she said
In a husky sleepy voice.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked,
Enjoying the expanded game.

“Of course” she said
“I love you.”

“Stupid Cunt” he whispered,
Grabbing her wrists and holding her hands far above her head
“You don’t know a fucking thing”

“Ah!… but Love, I do….” she whispered back “I know everything.”

And then *CLICK*
That sickening, way too familiar 
Sound and sensation of a handcuff locking around his wrist.

The look on his face was precious
As he realized his position
And began to struggle
With an unforgiving bedpost.

She smiled and clicked the next
And the next, and the next.

“Do you know who I am?!” he barked.

“Of course” she purred 
“I’ve been watching you for months….. “
She cupped his chin in her hand and looked deeply into his eyes
“Now where did you put that knife….?”